Clarissa Dickson Wright is on the show tonight and she’ll be showing Judy how to pluck a pheasant. Clarissa is one of the nicest people you can ever hope to meet; big in spirit yet as down to earth as they come. Even when she’s plucking a pheasant, she’s one of the most affable and pleasant people around.
I always think it’s a shame that she’s never married and hasn't passed on all she knows about the countryside to a son or daughter. I know I'm passing on all I know about presenting a TV show to my kids. Clarissa knows so much that it's a real tragedy if it's lost. If only she had a son, for example, and he were to become interested in pheasants and their plucking, then I’m sure he’d be very pleasant too. In fact, I often wish I weren't so much a pleasant pheasant plucker but a pleasant pheasant plucker's son. The fact that I’m not disappoints me on a daily basis.
Okay, some facts about pheasants and pheasant plucking. Did you know that pheasants are rarely pleasant? They are one of the most vicious members of the avian family and have caused the deaths of countless game wardens over the years. With a razor sharp beak and extremely strong claws, a pheasant can cut you to the bone. They are prized for their feathers which produce one of the finest writing quills but they have to be plucked with great care. The feathers are sharp and contain a toxin which, if it gets into an open cut, can produce euphoria in a victim followed by a slow death. Being a pleasant plucker is not always as good as it sounds. You have been warned.
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5 comments:
I'm a regular pheasant plucker, me. In season I find the farm workshop hung about with the things, free food from the weekly farmer's shoot. You have to remind yourself every time you open the door that some unexpected dead thing might be peering at you through sightless eyes. Once in a blue moon, a bird might not be as dead as you suppose....
No wit or sarcasm from me today, I'm too busy thinking about roasted pheasant. Yummy.
Puss
My grandma used to have a budgie that plucked itself. I expect pheasants could be trained to do the same.
Mopsa, please take care plucking those pheasants. If you begin to feel too pleasant, check for puncture marks.
Glamouspuss, I'm only surprised you like it cooked. Personally, I can never get use to the taste of lead shot.
Allshookup, a self-plucking pheasant? Now you see what we get with a bit of creative thinking. I'll get on the phone to Bernard Matthews and we'll adapt it for turkeys.
I tried to read this out loud and had to enunciate 'pleasant pheasant plucker's son' very very carefully. I think they should take up the phrase for elocution lessons.It sounds more interesting than what Peter Piper picked.
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