In my new role as Patron Saint of Squirrels, can I ask you, before you go to bed tonight, to bend a knee or two by the side of your cot, bow your head and say a few words on behalf of the poor grey squirrels?
Today has opened my eyes to the terrible persecution of these truly wonderful creatures. I've spent many hours watching a family of greys swing happily in their feeding hammocks. So, I ask you, if you've got some unwanted brassieres lying around the house, please stretch them between two trees and fill them with grain. Or perhaps you could hang a nut sack from a tree or scatter walnuts on your lawn. Trust me. I've been in the squirrel business for 24... no, nearly 26 hours now, and I've not heard a single thing that could go wrong. My plans are sound and so are my nuts.
