I’ve been delayed today so my regular update will be a little later than usual. Life as an ‘A’ list celebrity is so busy that sometimes I wish that I could slide down to the ‘B’ list, just to catch a breather. In the meantime, here’s a quick precis of the search terms of some of my latest blog visitors arriving via Google.
For the person asking if Fred Talbot is married, I’d suggest that we find him first...
For my reader in York: at the moment, Monty Don is six feet and five inches tall but we cut him back to five feet eleven in the winter to encourage new growth in the spring.
The person asking me to ‘rate Kerry Katona’: I’d give her 1 out of 20.
The person searching for ‘interesting facts about garden gnomes’: there are no interesting facts about garden gnomes, which is itself, an interesting fact.
The person searching for ‘swearing at babies’: it doesn’t have much effect but it is enormous fun.
The person who came here asking if ‘guys rub balls for comfort’: I can assure you that they rub them to get a bit of shine in the hope of creating a bit of reverse swing.
And finally, for the person who wants to know ‘what happened to Mickey Rooney’s ears?’: Andi Peters accidentally trod on them while Mickey was doing panto in Swansea.
Showing posts with label mickey rooney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mickey rooney. Show all posts
Monday, 28 January 2008
Friday, 14 September 2007
LAX
We’re flying home from LAX tomorrow morning, so this the last day of our holiday here in the US of A. We’ve also finally arrived in LA, where we had hoped to get a chance to hang out with many of our old friends who’ve made it big over here. Unfortunately, with all the delays caused by my polygamous marriages in Utah, we now won’t have time, though a few well wishers have sent us parting gifts. We hadn’t been in the hotel five minutes when a big bouquet of flowers arrived from Victoria Beckham. I thought it was a nice touch, though Judy couldn’t appreciate it. She was in the bathroom picking shattered glass from her hair and getting the smell of cordite from her clothes.
You might say that driving in from San Francisco had been an ordeal. Judy gets nervous driving on the right and she made a bad choice on the turnpike and we ended up in South LA. Luckily, the car was a rental so we weren’t liable for all the damage from the gunfire. I didn’t mention to the rental people that I’d smashed out the back window in order to return gunfire with my shotgun. I took out at least two gang members before Judy rammed the oil tanker.
It’s the side of Hollywood you tend to forget. Which is why I think I should end with some real Hollywood facts. Do you know, for instance, that the old Hollywood sign on the Burbank Hills has become so ridden with gunfire in recent years that it’s now been reinforced with Kevlar? And did you know that Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney is a distant relative of Wayne? In the recent hot spell, safety warnings were issued for the Beverly Hills area, telling residents to keep windows open because of the toxic fumes coming from all the plastic surgery reacting to the heat. Although the media covered it up and blamed an arsonist, a forest fire is widely attributed to Jane Fonda’s ear implants combusting in some wild scrub.
You might say that driving in from San Francisco had been an ordeal. Judy gets nervous driving on the right and she made a bad choice on the turnpike and we ended up in South LA. Luckily, the car was a rental so we weren’t liable for all the damage from the gunfire. I didn’t mention to the rental people that I’d smashed out the back window in order to return gunfire with my shotgun. I took out at least two gang members before Judy rammed the oil tanker.
It’s the side of Hollywood you tend to forget. Which is why I think I should end with some real Hollywood facts. Do you know, for instance, that the old Hollywood sign on the Burbank Hills has become so ridden with gunfire in recent years that it’s now been reinforced with Kevlar? And did you know that Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney is a distant relative of Wayne? In the recent hot spell, safety warnings were issued for the Beverly Hills area, telling residents to keep windows open because of the toxic fumes coming from all the plastic surgery reacting to the heat. Although the media covered it up and blamed an arsonist, a forest fire is widely attributed to Jane Fonda’s ear implants combusting in some wild scrub.
Tuesday, 7 August 2007
Kiss Curl
Judy was busy grouting the bathroom so I sat down and watched Superman Returns last night. Despite all the bad press I’d heard about the film, I enjoyed every minute of it. I don’t suppose it comes as much of a surprise that Superman holds a special place in my heart. For those of you who haven’t seen any of the films, they are the everyday story of a good looking brown haired guy working mundane hours as a journalist and spending his nights living out the fantasy of a superhero… And just in case you haven’t figured it out: yes, we even have our partings on the same side.
There can be no wonder that there are so many similarities. Although the original was created in the 1950s, Superman as we now know him is the product of the 1980s. The first Superman was filmed in the UK not far from the ‘This Morning’ studios where we were working at the time. I’d often see the conceptual artists, people from wardrobe, the writers, and even Richard Donner, the director, standing outside the glass windows out there on the Albert Dock, peering in to catch a glimpse of us making the show. At the time they said they were using Judy as a model for Lex Luther but I think we can all now see that there was something more to it than that. The late Christopher Reeve would often drop into our house in Cheshire and ask me how I wear my suits. He later told me that he took the now iconic scene when he pulls his shirt open to reveal the Superman logo from the way I used to dash from the set. Even the kiss curl was mine. You need only ask my makeup lady who has to plaster it down before I go on air.
I have some superhero facts for you today. Did you know that Superman was first played on TV by Mickey Rooney who played the character as a song and dance man? Superman's fear of Kryptonite was a late addition to the character's mythology and was based on Rooney's peanut allegy. Superman may have been first but in recent years Spiderman has become more popular. But did you also know that Spiderman is powerless in small towns or deserts? His whole superpower is predicated on the widespread availability of tall buildings from which to swing. He’s useless in combatting crimes in residential areas as he has to travel as all spiders travel: by drainpipe, emerging from plugholes to fight crime.
There can be no wonder that there are so many similarities. Although the original was created in the 1950s, Superman as we now know him is the product of the 1980s. The first Superman was filmed in the UK not far from the ‘This Morning’ studios where we were working at the time. I’d often see the conceptual artists, people from wardrobe, the writers, and even Richard Donner, the director, standing outside the glass windows out there on the Albert Dock, peering in to catch a glimpse of us making the show. At the time they said they were using Judy as a model for Lex Luther but I think we can all now see that there was something more to it than that. The late Christopher Reeve would often drop into our house in Cheshire and ask me how I wear my suits. He later told me that he took the now iconic scene when he pulls his shirt open to reveal the Superman logo from the way I used to dash from the set. Even the kiss curl was mine. You need only ask my makeup lady who has to plaster it down before I go on air.
I have some superhero facts for you today. Did you know that Superman was first played on TV by Mickey Rooney who played the character as a song and dance man? Superman's fear of Kryptonite was a late addition to the character's mythology and was based on Rooney's peanut allegy. Superman may have been first but in recent years Spiderman has become more popular. But did you also know that Spiderman is powerless in small towns or deserts? His whole superpower is predicated on the widespread availability of tall buildings from which to swing. He’s useless in combatting crimes in residential areas as he has to travel as all spiders travel: by drainpipe, emerging from plugholes to fight crime.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
