Beware the Pheasants!

Clarissa Dickson Wright is on the show tonight and she’ll be showing Judy how to pluck a pheasant. Clarissa is one of the nicest people you can ever hope to meet; big in spirit yet as down to earth as they come. Even when she’s plucking a pheasant, she’s one of the most affable and pleasant people around.

I always think it’s a shame that she’s never married and hasn't passed on all she knows about the countryside to a son or daughter. I know I'm passing on all I know about presenting a TV show to my kids. Clarissa knows so much that it's a real tragedy if it's lost. If only she had a son, for example, and he were to become interested in pheasants and their plucking, then I’m sure he’d be very pleasant too. In fact, I often wish I weren't so much a pleasant pheasant plucker but a pleasant pheasant plucker's son. The fact that I’m not disappoints me on a daily basis.

Okay, some facts about pheasants and pheasant plucking. Did you know that pheasants are rarely pleasant? They are one of the most vicious members of the avian family and have caused the deaths of countless game wardens over the years. With a razor sharp beak and extremely strong claws, a pheasant can cut you to the bone. They are prized for their feathers which produce one of the finest writing quills but they have to be plucked with great care. The feathers are sharp and contain a toxin which, if it gets into an open cut, can produce euphoria in a victim followed by a slow death. Being a pleasant plucker is not always as good as it sounds. You have been warned.