Wednesday, 20 October 2010

It's Competition Time

Greetings my friends, colleagues, and fellow adventurers in the world of cabaret! Stan Madeley here, sitting in for Uncle Dick who is currently away in France where he’s hunting truffles with his pet pig, Snouty.

Having the keys to his domain, I thought I’d do something a little different to keep this slumbering beast of a blog going. In fact, when he handed me this great responsibility, Dick’s last words to me were ‘have fun, keep out of trouble, and never mention that Michael MacIntyre has only slits for eyes’.

Frankly, I hadn’t noticed that Michael MacIntyre has only slits for eyes and, if I had, I certainly wouldn’t mention this fact on the internet. Who knows where such things might lead?

So, instead, I’ve decided to liven things up with a little audience participation. It always works at the Gormfield Old Folks home and I don’t see why it won’t work with you, men and women under ninety years of age and in full control of your bladders. I won’t ask you to wave your hands in the air as I play Vera Lynn classics on my harmonica but I will ask you to participate in a competition!

Yes, I said: we’re going to have a competition! You’d like that, wouldn’t you?

So, sorry… Slipped into my nursing-home mode for a moment…

I have a signed copy of my new book, Second-Class Male, sitting here on my lap and I’m willing to send it (the book, not my lap, though perhaps both if you’re lucky) to the person who can tell me the name of my favourite Norwegian fjord. That’s right: my favourite Norwegian fjord.

Just email me your answers at and the winner will be the first correct entry that my wife Sandra (54) retrieved from down my pair of oversized comedy trousers.

Closing date for the competition is Friday, 29th October and the draw will be held during our performance at the Wittling Cross Social Club on the following Saturday night. It should be an exciting evening as I’ll be attempting to become the first man to glue himself to a bassoon in the cause of light entertainment whilst attempting to advance rectal science.

Tickets are available at the door but please be advised: anybody sitting in the first three rows might be asked to assist in the case of a medical emergency.