Swearing Mothers, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys

I trust you’re all well this fine Monday morning. I spent my weekend at a country music convention up in Aylesbury and had a marvellous time hoedowning and yee-hawing to the best of Dolly Parton, Freddy Fender, and Conway Twitty. The only disappointment was to get back late last night to discover that I’d offended the Swearing Mother by not initially including her in my thoughtful blogger post. I’ve begged her forgiveness but it doesn’t appear to be enough. So, in the spirit of harmony, I’ve penned a country ballad about this sad story, which also includes a touching little scene about Mopsa’s dog just to make it more poignant. I’ll be singing it on the show tonight, wearing my white silk cowboy shirt and stetson as Judy accompanies me on the guitar and Dr. Raj plays the bull fiddle. If this doesn’t appease Swearing Mother, I think I’ll have to bring out the big guns and take the matter to Denise Robertson.

Today’s country & western facts: Kenny Rogers made much of his fortune by owning the world’s largest rhinestone mine in Kentucky. Ducks have been taught to line dance by no less a figure than Willie Nelson, who happened to be stoned at the time. He is also the only person to have two characters in The Simpsons based on him (Groundskeeper Willie and Nelson Muntz). Dolly Parton invented Tizer but sold the rights to the Coca Cola corporation and used the money to build Dollyland.