Tuesday, 11 August 2009

My Letter to The Sun

Sent to: letters@the-sun.co.uk
11th August 2009

Dear The Sun,

As much as I am reluctant to respond to yet another of your salacious stories, I feel obliged to reply to the article published under the heading: ‘Madeley: I hate wearing knickers’ (08/08/09).

You do not make it clear in the headline that you were referring to Chloe Madeley not Dick Madeley, the famous blogger, Twitter hero, and Norfolk's newly crowned balloon bending champion. As a consequence, I have been caused considerable embarrassment with no fewer than three people coming up to me in the street and asking me why I don’t enjoy the sensual touch of women’s underwear against my skin.

You probably think it an overreaction to write to you like this but I have a reputation to maintain. To that end, I think it only right to make it clear to your readers where I stand on the matter of women’s underwear. To be perfectly honest, I have no particular dislike for the silken hot pant, the miniaturised thong, or the well gusseted girdle. They each have the use, their time and their place. However, let it be known that I am among the legion of men in this country who like to go as nature intended: sans underpant. I live life on the edge, with only my pair of highly fashionable stretch nylon slacks to protect my modesty.

Yours, securely zipped away,

Dick Madeley
The Nation’s Favourite Uncle
The Richard Madeley Appreciation Society


johnwillows said...

So, NO Knickers That Fit, Richard??

Uncle Dick Madeley said...

Trust me, they fit.

Rattling On said...

The thought of you going commando has left me reeling.
The slacks...Sta-Prest?