Friday, 7 December 2007

In Which Richard Is Graphically Not Part Of Their Grand Design

Afternoon guys! I’m in an upbeat mood today. The weekend looms and Stephen Fry is due to pick me up early tomorrow morning to take me to see the priceless collection of chimneypot designs at The Sir John Soanes Museum. I’m also looking back on a productive week of blogging, though as usual, I’m disappointed that so many readers are coming back without leaving a single comment. I know that many of you will feel just a little awestruck, but I like to hear from you ‘little folk’, as Judy likes to call you.

The only grey cloud on this otherwise perfect roll of azure bright is an developing situation in the world of advertising. It’s quite normal given my quite eclectic interests to occasionally attract the attention of people who just don’t understand me. My recent spat with the ex-pat Brits in Tunisia and various ongoing feuds with different people are just examples of how people ‘take me the wrong way’. In my recent trawls through the world of blogs, I came across what I thought were one or two interesting little haunts where creative types hang their boots and jaw about design and copywriting. Being a man known for his strong opinions on a well turned phrase and owning a perceptive eye for visual design, I felt right at home and began to give my uninformed insights into the business and to explain to these professionals where they are going so wrong.

My arrival prompted some scepticism among the regulars visitors and, this morning, the discussion descended to the point that it has left Judy crying.

Says one man with ink on his fingers:
By the way, if you click "Richard Madeley"'s name in the comments, you'll find it may not be quite the real Richard Madeley. I'm sorry to say.

Which I don’t understand at all. If you click the name, you come here to The Richard Madeley Appreciation Society as written by me, the real Richard Madeley. How much more real can a Richard Madeley get?

Another quote:

You know, just because that link goes to the Richard Madeley Appreciation Society doesn't mean it's not the real Richard Madeley. I wouldn't put it past him.

I make the same point. It means it is the real Richard Madeley, unless somebody is appropriating my identity as was recently the case here.

Here is perhaps the most disappointing of the comments:

But look on the bright side: whoever he is, between us we'll have increased his traffic quite substantially.

Increased my traffic? How dare they! My traffic has bloomed like a low yield ‘A’ bomb since the piece appeared in The Guardian the other week. I hardly need the traffic when Blogger are emailing with warnings about putting too much stress on their servers and begging me to reduce the amounts of hits I’m getting.

The final comment is a deeply philosophical one that I should really leave for the ages to answer.

The comment doesn't (quite) sound like a joke, but if you read any of the posts on his website it seems obvious he's either (a) not who he says he is on the site or (b) not who he pretends to be on the telly. I must say, it's not a question I predicted when I agreed to take over NDG for a week.

It wasn’t a joke because I was being quite serious. If you read the posts on my website, isn’t it obvious who I am? These doubters have a point (the only point, I grant you) in that I can’t really be myself on Channel 4. Judy runs the show and I’m lucky most days if I get handed a script. I make do with what limited resources I have and ad lib when and where I can.

But this whole incident has been hugely disappointing. I often wonder if I should blog anonymously under a fake name, just like my friend Bill 'Nige' Oddie does. I’ve tried it on the official Richard & Judy forum but I’ve been bullied off their when I was seen to have criticised myself. Should I no longer leave comments where I wish? Am I to become as much a pariah among bloggers as I am at the BBC? I’m going to mull this over and ask Stephen’s opinion about it in the morning. It is, however, a depressing subject for a Friday afternoon and I should really have spent my time telling you all about Clarkson’s escape from the law yesterday and how he joked about it when he came over last night. He ran in the house and took sanctuary in our linen closet. It took us fifteen minutes to find him. However, that tale's not for today. Perhaps another time when I'm feeling more like myself.


Nige said...

Richard - how could you? You swore you'd never reveal my secret identity. I'm so angry I'm going to come round to your house and rub my beard in your face.

Richard Madeley said...

Bill, I'm so sorry. I was just making a brew when Judy shouted me back into the room and pointed out what I'd done. I can't apologise enough. Let's just agree that it makes up for the business over the plastic herons.

I hope this doesn't stop you blogging. People are beginning to love you for who you really are, and not just because you were a Goodie.

Elberry said...

Perhaps Madeley will become the Walter Shumate of the 21st Century among bloggers rather than Special Forces?

Selena Dreamy said...

he's either (a) not who he says he is on the site or (b) not who he pretends to be on the telly

I had expected worse, to tell the truth. But then, the information on which I rely goes well beyond what I have so far seen in examining the published records. On the face of it, it is true, I simply cannot say anything negative about you, Richard. Though I do accept that I’m being mesmerized, as so many millions are, by such close proximity to a man like yourself. But then again, I am a sucker for celebrity circuit personalities, and must not leave you under the delusion that the Guardian’s verdict was in any sense a cruel portrait of you.

No false indignity, please.

Your trouble really is, that with the internet congested with minor celebrities, there isn’t sufficient Lebensraum for a real Richard Madeley to stride, strut and display himself. Nor can you expect anyone to be starstruck unless you cease to be a model of courtesy and exceedingly gracious manners. Meanwhile, I’ve inaugurated my own Victims of Anonymity Foundation to help other unrecognised celebrities and already there are reports that I may be named "woman of the year" at a glitzy event next month in Swiss Cottage.

Though, unlike yourself, she may have no deep curiosity about who she is, do please bring Judy!

Richard Madeley said...

Elberry, you've got me intrigued. Who is Walter Shumate? I found this link which suggests that his moustache is now on show in a museum. I like this idea and wonder if it's true. Don't laugh if I've been taken in. I believe everything I read on the web.

Selena, another comment that makes me even more convinced that you've got the natural way about you that should go into a blog. I suggest that you do (please) launch a 'Victims of Anonymity Foundation' blog. I'll be your patron, a model for aspiring celebrities everywhere. The problem with this country is that there are too few opportunities for we celebs to flourish.

James said...

Hi Richard. I discovered your blog after you left me a comment on mine a few days ago. I'm sorry this is my first comment. I've so far found your blog to be fascinating.

I hope you have a nice time with Stephen tomorrow.

Selena Dreamy said...

Selena, another comment that makes me even more convinced that you've got the natural way about you that should go into a blog...

Until December 7, 2007 6:51 PM, I would have said you will never make a blogger out of me. That I remain where I have always been, flanked by the muses of Comedy and Tragedy. But while my previous experiences convinced me that I was not particularly sought after, I am overwhelmed with the gratifying sensation that I have shed, at this very moment, all my pent-up frustrations about blogging and celebrities. Nor shall I ever regret that my attachment to Richard as a celebrity induced me to repose in him the trust that I do. I realize, of course, that this is a blatantly opportunistic attempt to ingratiate myself with the most famous person on this site. But then, the Maestro himself has planted the thought in my psyche and instinct tells me it might well be the germ I could make grow into a credible plea of insanity and launch a “Victims of Anonymity Foundation” - unless, of course, this Dick is motivated by pure vanity and a determination to prove to me that he is not a celebrity failure.

It is now 7:30 PM and I’ve staggered into the Rhino Spearmint Gentleman’s Club - where I’m on show tonight -and ordered six double Scotches and three creme de menthes in order to think this over.

20:45 PM. Am on the point of accepting the Governor-Generalship of India....

Anonymous said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

Anonymous said...

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,