Tuesday, 8 July 2008

An Epiphany

It was an epiphany of sorts. I had spent the day away from my computer and reading Saul Bellow’s ‘Herzog’. Here, I thought to myself, is prose of the highest calibre and I should try to use it to improve my blog. If it takes me eight hours a day, I should only present words that have been sifted by the finest critical methods. My blog's readers should only face words that are meaningful. Not a single superfluous word should appear anywhere in my posts.

They were noble ambitions and I suppose these thought processes were only going through my mind because I’d become aware of the anniversary of this blog’s launch on the 21st of this month. To date, I’ve written over 237,000 words for your edification and amusement. It is only natural that when I’m away that I begin to wonder how it’s going and I make all kinds of vague plan to make it even bigger and better.

And then I come back after twenty four hours away and see that my last post, a troubled little piece about my future career, had all of one comment. Lord James Bigglesworth had written to inform me that ‘I take my yoghurt to the loo’.

‘I take my yoghurt to the loo’...

And that’s when I had my epiphany.

Madeley, I thought, you’re wasting your time. There are TV scripts that I could be writing or meetings I could take with high level TV executives to discuss all my great ideas for new shows. I could be crossing deserts or climbing mountains and making cutting edge TV. I could be doing all these things but instead I choose to blog so a peer of the realm can tell me that he takes his yoghurt to the loo.

In the end, I threw ‘Herzog’ to one side. I don’t know how Saul Bellow, Clive James or Stephen Fry do it.

All I know is that, some days, it's just not worth the effort and that writing just sucks.


Princess said...

an epiphany?? I hope you dont mean to stop ur writing Dick it would be a shame for us all if u did...

Lola said...

For what it's worth, I thought Lord James' comment was ill-judged, and made it difficult to formulate a suitable comment to follow. What I would have said was 'nice post' but this is trite and faintly patronising, and doesn't demonstrate the erudition for which I am famed. I feel your pain, but you must face criticism with self-belief. Otherwise we'd all just go sob in the toilet, with or without yogurt.

Dick Madeley said...

Thanks Princess. I just get moody sometimes. You'll notice this if you look back at my previous months and months of posts. I'll probably keep on. I have no other option.

Lola, I not sure it was the comment. It felt, I suppose, like lots of comments which suggest that the person hadn’t read the post but felt obliged to leave a comment. It mentioned something on the first line and didn't respond to the piece. But I suppose we're all guilty of doing that. I often don't have the time to read a long blog post unless it's by a blogger I particularly enjoy. Yet I will still sometimes leave a comment to show that I appreciated their effort or that I passed through.

And I don't think it's criticism, which I don't really get. It's silence. Not just here but in general. This blog is months and months of work and for what? I keep telling myself that I'm blogging for myself, which is fine on the good days when I'm bouncing along in a good mood. But I’m not doing this just for myself. I am trying to attract attention to my other work, which is more polished than these hastily written posts. And after last week, when my novel should have been published, I think I'm finding it hard to find a reason to carry on. I love to write but I'm just making no money from it. I have so much energy but no profitable direction.

Oh, listen to me... I guess I’m just utterly fed up at the moment. I’ll come out of it. I usually do. And I’m just too bloody stubborn to give up.

Anonymous said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

Anonymous said...

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,