Wednesday, 9 January 2008

The Poll

I’ve put shackles around the poll’s ankles and dumped it into the Thames. There was one bloody stupid idea: asking people if I should quit blogging. Stronger men might have laughed off the answer but not me. It has made me unduly bitter and I’ve found myself being cruel to minor celebrities, just to see them cry.

You might have also noticed that I’ve roped yesterday’s 2500 word post to the chain as it sank beneath the water. There is another 3000 words of the story that will be going with it. The whole thing was getting far too big. Nobody was going to read it, did read it, or would want to read any more. I’ve written 130,000 of this blog since it began a few months ago. There was an element of blind panic in my starting out on a story that would take another 130,000 to finish. Judy spotted this immediately and told me to calm down.

The thought of hunting for a job had me thinking that just a couple of weeks I could write a book. I just ask that you bear with me while I go through this transition. These are hard times. Even harder, I should imagine, that having two rectums or working for the BBC.

10 comments:

AxmxZ said...

The poll-dumping was probably for the best. It's rarely a good idea to ask people outright if they hate you. A lot of them will say 'yes' just out of innate instinct towards meanness. A lot of others will do likewise just because they can't stand Richard Madeley and will use the poll to vent their frustration at him. I mean, you. I'm sure if you had included an option that said "Should Richard Madeley go stuff his pockets full of lead slugs and jump into the Thames without leaving a suicide note?" the response would've been even more enthusiastically affirmative.

I personally like the stories and the one you removed was no exception. But I will say this: it wasn't as original as a lot of the stuff you post regularly. Daniil Kharms stepped aside for Ian Fleming. Frankly, if you ask me, the world is saturated with Flemings and could use a whole lot more Kharms.

None of this undoes the fact that you're an engaging and more than capable writer. However, I'm not sure how you'd translate your trademark winsome playfulness and love of the absurd into something longer than a vignette.

Richard Madeley said...

Ax, you just have to forgive my occasional moodiness. I go through these periods when I’m morose and just a bit self-pitiful. I've now been and watched a bad film for two hours and feel better. The job interview threw me out of my routine and my writing is very linked with routine. I hope to feel better tomorrow morning.

Lola said...

Take heart, all is not doom and despair, I have been reading your efforts for just a little while and each time finish thinking "WTF was that?" Which is a ringing endorsement, in case you were wondering.

mutleythedog said...

Well I read it all - but like you Mr Madeley, I am unemployed and the alternative was 'Doctors' on TV. Maybe we could collaborate on a book, writing chapters alternately? I have always wanted to do that - its a lost art with its origins in Japan.

Richard Madeley said...

Lola, thanks for giving me a big hug. I needed it. As for thinking WTF, I often think WTF and then reconsider and tell myself to SUDV followed by some TLC. Then Judy usually gives me her opinion, which is typically FRTUD and I'm forced to go and KFJT to the cat. If the RSPCA ever catch me I'd be in DS.

Mutley, it's good to know that I've got such a dedicated reader. Unemployment does strange things to a man, though I'm not technically unemployed. I'm 'self-employed' which is something quite different. It just looks the same but I'm working 19 hours a day. I too have always wanted to collaborate but I nobody can tolerate my work methods. I'm accused of working too quickly and without any idea of what I'm doing.

mutleythedog said...

Oh - well then Im not unemployed either - I am a consultant...

AxmxZ said...

Writing with a partner is an odd experience. You need to all-but read each other's mind for it to come out well. That's probably why it's usually done by either brothers or best friends. My friend and I write quite a bit of comedy together over the years. (It got to be rather Fry-Laurie-esque towards the end, too.)

Swearing Mother said...

Hi Richard, I could be your writing partner. You could do the writing, and I'd tell anyone who doesn't like it to eff off.

If that's any help at all.

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