Thursday, 3 January 2008

Love At First Sight

I love you. No, no. Don't say a word, stranger. I know you feel the same way too. You've been looking at my blog for the last couple of hours. Savouring everything I've written. Let's meet. I'll bring chocolates. Who knows. A little wine. A comfortable room...

Lets make babies together.

17 comments:

Dave said...

Dude, I'm a dude.

Richard Madeley said...

Dave, so sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think it was you. I was talking to the good looking person who spent two whole hours reading my blog earlier on. They were clearly a person of distinction, intelligence, and great wit. I sensed it was a woman. Don't ask me how: I just knew. I have a way about me, you see, that just knows when a lady is interested.

Dave said...

82% of women who post and chat on the internet are in fact men. This is absolutely true.

Richard Madeley said...

But 87% of men who post at men on the internet are actually women. By these odds, one of us smells of juniper and doesn't drink real ale.

What you doing tonight, gorgeous?

Dave said...

Washing my hair.

Richard Madeley said...

Damn it! Given the evil feminisation of male culture, washing you hair probably does mean that you're a man.

Dave said...

Do I detect a note of hope in that "probably"?

Richard Madeley said...

Absolutely not!
No!
Nyet!
Nein!
Nope!
No way, Jose!

Sorry, Dave, but I'm a lady's man and prefer my ladies to be built like Judy.

1st Lady said...

Could it be that you've replaced the newspaper for someones bathroom break?

Richard Madeley said...

1st Lady, I would hope that my reader would consult a doctor if s/he needs a two hour bathroom break. Instead, I like to think of them as an enormously influential publisher/literary agent scouting for talent to take to the next level and become the new Bill Bryson.

Or, of course, it could have just been my psychiatrist checking to see if I'm still taking the medication.

AxmxZ said...

Richard is absolutely right - a good number of 'men' or persons of indeterminate gender one encounters online are actually women. Unless one is in a naughty chat room, in which case one can pretty much state a priori that there are no women in it, just a whole lot of desperate blokes talking dirty to each other.

Curiously enough, if women ever realized that boys talking dirty to each other is what they are missing by staying out of naughty chatrooms, they'd rush in en masse, taking male nicknames as a matter of course. Then one would be faced with the peculiar situation of all the self-identified females in the chatroom being actually male, and all the males female. Consequently, everyone would spent so much time thinking whether their presence in said chatroom meant something unwholesome about their sexuality that all the dirty talk would quickly degenerate into discussions of Foucault.

(You mysterious reader might have been me, incidentally.)

Richard Madeley said...

Not unless you were in either Romford or Liverpool (I haven't worked out which yet).

You talk with too much experience of life inside chatrooms. I've never gone in for it myself, though if I did, I think I would be quite good at it. I would take fiendish delight in reducing the whole thing to a farce.

Oh, must dash. I'm writing out my CV and it isn't pretty.

Richard Madeley said...

PS. Nobody talks about Foucault these days. Even Foucault wouldn't talk about himself, were he alive. I once read his book about Punishment and thought it a load of old cobblers. I was once asked to write a forward to a new edition and refused on principle.

AxmxZ said...

I've never actually been in a naughty chat room, so this is all purely hypothetical theorizing. But I agree, the temptation to turn the whole thing into a farce would be overwhelming. Like talking someone into a state of high alert and then saying something like "Baby, I'm sweating so much, it's making my clown make-up run."

AxmxZ said...

I think the reason why Foucault is still a force in my university is that he gets taught to us by Arnold Davidson himself. Everyone who's in the humanities usually goes through at least the "History of Sexuality" class. Those who end up delving deeper often end up shaving their heads, which makes them look like a sect.

uhfdf said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

fgeegf said...

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,