Wine

I’m afraid I got absolutely bladdered last night having sampled a couple of bottles of wine the producers had sent over ahead of our wine club feature next week. I had intended to sit down for half an hour and read the next book for the book club but Judy didn’t finish rewiring the lights in the study before the plonk had began to have its devilish way with me. About the only thing I remember about the evening is waking up around midnight, sitting in the shrubbery and trying to breastfeed a garden gnome. Judy carrying me to bed was the last thing I remember.

The moral of the story is to beware drink but there’s a lesser moral about avoiding gnomes. Those sharp beards can seriously damage a man’s nipple.

This morning’s interesting fact is about wine.

Did you know that wine is the only alcoholic drink that it’s legal to sell to Eskimos without a license? The reason for this is that there are very few vineyards inside the arctic circle, so the Inuit elders have never got around to create a law covering the fermentation of the grape. So, if you ever want to entertain an Eskimo, or who knows, need to get one drunk, wine is the beverage of choice.

Another interesting fact. I once got an Eskimo drunk. True story. I was due to film a segment about the seal cull for Granada Reports back in the 70s when our cameraman was struck down by a spastic colon and had to be airlifted back to Iqaluit. That was an ordeal in itself. Never hope to be standing in the down draft of a helicopter when the cameraman being winched to a helicopter get struck by an attack of the diddly-squits… But that’s a long story and better left for another day. I can no longer hear the noise of chopping. I guess Judy has finished cutting the day’s logs for the fire.