On today’s show, we’ll be tackling the sticky subject of MRSA. It shouldn't be a bad segment but I keep telling Judy we need to do something more exciting with superbugs and these flesh eating viruses. I suggested that we send on of our reporters into a hospital to see if they could catch one. The plan fell through due to health and safety. I then suggested that we get one of our viewers onto the show if they’ve got one of these bugs but Judy said she doesn’t want anybody spluttering snot all over her sofa or leaving bits of flesh around the studio.
Between you and me, I suspect she’s thinking of whipping the sofa back to our London pad when the series ends. That’s why she’s being so protective about who gets to sit on it. A few weeks ago she wouldn’t let Sharon Osbourne near it and it all turned nasty when she suggested that Osbourne’s had liposuction which has left her bottom as leaky as Tewkesbury.
Before the car comes to pick us up, I have a quick fact for you all about sofas. Did you know that the word ‘sofa’ comes from the Yiddish ‘sofamak’? It’s actually found in the Torah when Jehova appears in the form of a burning cushion and tells King David to put his feet up and have a biscuit, which in those days was made from unleavened bread and wasn’t of the modern hobnob or rich tea varieties.