The news that we’re giving up our afternoon slot on Channel 4 should come as no surprise to the three of you who’ve been reading this blog regularly. This is the official statement I’ll be shortly releasing to the media.
In the last few months, the direction in which both Judy and I had hoped to take our show has become increasingly at odds with Channel 4’s attempts to make us more culturally diverse. We attended a meeting last week at Channel 4 headquarters at which we were asked if we would speak Polish for 10% of the show. Judy refused. Then they asked me if I could ‘smile more’ the female viewers and ‘leave an extra shirt button undone’ for the 57% of our audience who are male and gay. I also refused. The breaking point came with their attempts to force us to have a regular feature dealing with mental heath issues for nanuses. Channel 4 wanted to call it ‘Little People’s Mind Dell’. I wanted to call it ‘Mental Midget’s Corner’. We were at loggerheads and I’m afraid at that point it was obvious that we would have to leave Channel 4.
What does this mean for Richard&Judy? Judy will be releasing her own statement shortly, though she has been saying for some time that she wants to spend more time in the garden. I support her in her decision, so long as she doesn’t expect me to weed the shrubbery. I intend to carry on with my own projects. I have some excellent opportunities coming up on the satellite channels and I’m particularly looking forward to narrating a ‘A Brief History of Bicycle Pumps’ for the Discovery Channel in December. I will then be travelling to Humberside to look at the creative uses they’re found for scrap pig iron. ‘Richard Madeley in Humberside Looking At The Creative Uses For Scrap Pig Iron’ will be shown on UK Gold in the New Year. I’ve also had offers to host shows for UKTV, The Biography Channel, and Bits and Babes UK.
I ask that nobody shed a tear for Richard&Judy. This is the beginning of a new adventure. We hope to see you all soon, and, speaking for myself, hope you will all come over to Channel 643 next Tuesday evening, where I’ll be demonstrating Ronco’s new 'Fuzztastic Hair Curlers' on Shop Vector+.
9 comments:
I come a-vistin' to read and enjoy and I can't. I am struck not dumb but "unable to read" by your David Dickinson suntan. What have you done to yourself? Don't you know it's cancerous out there? It can even affect your poetry writing skills. Take more care Dicky.
Whatever you do in the future (and the few ideas you've tantalised us with are pretty attractive), please, please, please carry on with this blog!
Jeanthelibraryqueen
PS I'm only anonymous because I can't work out how to open a Blogger account ...
Jean, I will try my very best to keep on blogging and it's good to know that people enjoy this blog enough to write to me. It cheers me up on a day that has been upsetting. On another positive note, I've just got off the phone with the agent. Can't promise anything but it looks like I'm going to become the new face for Del Monte Prunes!
Maybe a move back up to Liverpool could be on the cards?
Richard: I think you should start your own exercise channel, strap on a leotard and show us all how you keep that fabulous body of yours in trim.
Meanwhile, Judy could start a blog on how she manages to live with a man of such genius.
I am sure they would both be a rip-roaring success.
Yours, as ever.
Jean, you can click on 'other' and thus avoid anonymity or Blogger.
Richard, i hope you find your true position in the Russian Mafia. They're always on the look out for ex-Spesnatz, ex-KGB, ex-TV chat show gods.
Well done, Richard - new directions, full steam ahead.
Just goes to show, you can just two pay checks from being homeless.it can happen to anyone,am i homeless, you bet,want proof, then i suggest a meeting, and you get somrone to photograph event, and stick the photo on your blog...
homeless chicken
Misssy, no chance. I'm staying down here where I'm going to become the king of late night satellite chat.
Swearing Mother, you're so kind. I have been asked to do a workout for Christmas. Now I might have chance to show you my chin up routine.
Elberry, ditto about moving. I'd never work for the Russians. They once asked me to spy in 1973 and I told them where to go. I'm British and proud of it.
Count, I've just voted for you. We must stick together.
Homeless Chicken, I never doubted that you are unfortunately homeless, I just question if you're really a chicken. How do you type? I suppose it's all beak, which is a miracle when I think about it. The very fact that I'm chatting with a chicken is a marvel of technology.
I won't bother about sending a photographer. The way my career is going, I might soon be joining you. Such is the fickle nature of fame and wealth. And I tell you, it's not the same as happiness and friendship.
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