Monday, 5 November 2007

Richard's Facts Omnibus

Did you know that Samantha Fox is a qualified butcher? Or that eels can be used as a makeshift television aerials. Then fear not. I’m here to inform you that you can make a dog sneeze by tying a knot in its tail, that earwigs contain high levels of psychotopic drugs, and a lentil can withstand the weight of a mountain.

That’s right, I’m returning to what I know best: useless facts. Stephen Fry can stick his QI. This is the place you should come if you want to know that hat stands are banned in Belgium and CD lens cleaner is made from low quality whisky.

I’m responding to the dozen or so emails I’ve had from readers pointing out that I’ve been lax in giving you my usual daily facts. It has clearly been something you've missing. Some of you have stopped me in the street to complain. Others have gone off into dark corners and begun to hatch plots against me.

In order to rectify my oversight, I today present you with a bumper crop of facts. These facts have be gleaned from my decades spent producing high class journalism. I hope you find them all as interesting as I do.

Did you know that Rudyard Kipling invented vollyball?

Nelson Mandela owned the very first Hawaiian shirt.

Elephants will bark if you feed them soya.

‘Igloo’ is the Icelandic word for sunshine.

A keyring is considered an offensive weapon in North Korea.

Ducks mate on the wing but also with their wings.

It’s legal to hunt otters with greyhounds in Somerset.

A man was recently jailed in Tumbridge Wells for toffee apple offences going back ten years.

The French Resistance made explosives from sherbet during World War 2.

Dundee has the highest rate of any UK city for obese undertakers.

Harlow is known as the City of the Nautical Mile because that’s where it was invented.

Sandra Bullock owns a ranch but doesn’t own a single bullock.

Crayons are still made from beaver wax harvested from renewable beavers.

Paddington Bear is a gay icon in Peru and is often dressed in leather.

Barbara Windsor was in line to become the fifth Doctor Who.

And last, but not least: did you know that Ipswich is slowly sinking into the sea?

8 comments:

All Shook Up said...

You aren't softening us up for an even more crooked online version of You Say, We Pay are you Richard?

Claudia said...

Excellent

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Dunwich used to be the largest ton In suffolk- it pretty much fell off a cliff, over time.

Seaford in sussex used to be a major port- now it is several miles in land.

homelesschicken said...

Which just goes to show fiction ,can be stranger than facts!Keep pecking away..
homeless chicken

Flowerpot said...

Richard - only just heard about your departure from Channel Four. Disgraceful. What are they thinking of? Have blogged about it today. What will we do now eh?

Glamourpuss said...

As a Kentish lass I can confirm that that toffee apple fellow was a menace.

Puss

Philip said...

It's Ipswich old bean.

Richard Madeley said...

ASU, I might well be. The Madeley Makes You A Millionaire Fact Challenge.

Claudia, thank you.

Crushed, you're making those facts up!

Homeless, fiction is always preferable to facts. Unless they're my facts, which sound like fiction.

Flowerpot, thank you. Judy's taken it bad. I'm resigned to working on satellite TV.

Glamourpuss, you see. I know my stuff.

Philip, how did that 't' get in there? That's what happens when you get the researcher to type up your blog. Many thanks.