We landed in America in the early hours yesterday and took another plane straight over to Salt Lake City, here in Utah, where we’ll be staying for a night or two. I thought it would be a different kind of holiday, travelling across America, but now I’m here, I don’t want to move on. Utah is my kind of town with my kind of people. I’ve done so much since I got here that I doubt if you’d recognise me.
Judy isn’t too impressed but she wasn’t that excited when I told her that I was becoming a Mormon. The Richard & Judy & Ruth & Tabitha & Kerry & Rachael & Mary Show perhaps doesn’t have the same ring to it but I say that we should bother about how it looks in the TV listings when a man is sticking to his religious principals. The girls are all lovely and I hope you’ll get to know them (and the few more I hope to marry before I leave) when we have the super-wide sofa installed in the studio. I don’t know what the TV chiefs will make of it but I think Judy is resigned to the fact that we’ll be able to introduce a rotation policy, with Judy only presenting one show in seven or eight.
Polygamy has got a bad name to people who don’t understand it. They think it demeans the woman because the relationship is usually one man to many women. But I say what better way is there of celebrating womanhood than by allowing six women to be married to a man like me? In fact, there are some polygamy facts which some people don’t want you to know about. Did you know, for example, that polygamy is illegal in the UK except in Kent where it is protected by bylaws? Did you also know that the first evidence of polygamy was found by antropologists researching the earliest civilization in Africa? They posit that primitive pigmy polygamy began with a progenitor practising polymorphous perversity but I don’t think it’s as simple as that.