Monday, 1 October 2007

Nietzsche's Moustache

I was shocked that a priest could come out with such language. I’d only asked him if he really believed in the immortality of the soul and if he hadn’t come out with such a weak answer, I wouldn’t have told him my own theory based on my reading of Plato and Nietzsche. So, in a way, none of it was my fault.

Not that Judy thinks I’m innocent. When we got back to the car, she suggested that the christening of our researcher’s baby was neither the time nor place for a theological debate. I say that it’s rare that you can get one of these religious types alone for ten minutes. I merely wanted to make the most of it.

The person I feel the most sorry for is the baby. She was the innocent in all of this. Young Know-it-all Tosspot was as quiet as anything throughout the ceremony. She wouldn’t understand how her life had changed. And that, as I told the priest, is an example of chaos theory, when a small event changes bigger things in an unexpected way. You might just think of little Tosspot going through life having to explain all about her name and about the trouble her theologically deep Uncle Richard got into on the day of her christening. Of course, Nietzsche was also much misunderstood in his lifetime but he hid his disappointment behind his moustache. Which is precisely why I'm considering growing one.

I admire that about a man; a good moustache, that is. It’s why Nietzsche facts are one of my specialities. A simple moustache wasn’t good enough for Friedrich Wilhelm. He had to have the most luxurious nasal hedgerow that money can buy. And, indeed, his money did buy him one; him being one of the first wearers of a nasal toupee. Unable to grow a real moustache due to an accident with paint thinners, the young Nietzsche took to wearing his false one. All this happened in his youth, when he first took an interest in art. But did you know that his notebooks contain the first record of the principals that would later be known as Paint by Numbers? Some say it's his greatest contributions to modern civilization.

5 comments:

Lord Higham-Johnson said...

Yes and not only that but have you noticed how uneven it is? I'd take it back for a refund.

Dick Madeley said...

I have another article written about Nietzsche's nostrils but I've not bothered to post it, fearing that my blog might be misconstrued as being intelligent.

(And before you say it: I know that's not going to happen, is it?)

Anonymous said...

nietzsche didn't have a moustache before his breakdown. his anti-semitic sister elizabeth allowed it to grow while he was an invalid.

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