In producing the attached graphic, Chip Dale has done something useful for once. He’s beginning to grow in my affections like a slightly dotty uncle whose habits, though not always hygienic, do help promote the odd stomach bug that gets you off work for a few days.
Being one of the many to be ignored in this latest blog round-up (though Chip seems to miss the point that it was for ‘political’ blogs only) doesn’t worry me as much as the size of my readership. Where are all the visitors? Do Channel 4 audiences read blogs? Can they actually read? Or am I meant to go out there and canvas for support? It doesn’t seem right for a man who has already made his fame to demean himself by leaving comments on other people’s blogs. I mean am I meant to actually read them as well?
It probably doesn’t surprise you to learn that I’m hesitant to go trawling for support because I tend to get insulted quite a bit. Vulgar words beginning with ‘w’, ‘t’, ‘a’, ‘c’, ‘f’ and ‘g’ are usually uttered in my direction by people who seem to hold an illogical hatred towards me. I don’t know why my fame, talent, good looks, and money manage to arouse such hostility but there you have it. I’m not a loved man.
Which is why I’m thinking about launching a charm offensive. The decision I have to make now is what form this offensive will take. I might produce a graphic like Chip’s, with some smart line on it, or I might simply hire my usual PR firm to buy up all the advertising on rival blogs and steal their readership. Any thoughts on how I might grow this blog are welcome.
My mind is too full of problems to give you any interesting facts today, which is an interesting fact in itself, to there you go. Job done.