Okay guys, I’ve given it much thought and as much as I liked the idea of spending the next twenty years of my life butchering grey squirrels, I really couldn’t do the work justice. And the truth is that in terms of old items of underwear to use as makeshift squirrel feeders, we are fully equipped to maintain a community of greys for decades to come. For that reason, I’ve decided to make my garden a sanctuary for the grey squirrel. If any of those old English reds attempt to get in, they get Judy’s mallet.
Once my community of grey squirrels has been established, I will then begin the breeding programme to develop a grey squirrel that is totally red. That way, a stronger (and perhaps even slightly psychopathic) red squirrel will be able to populate the land and everybody will be happy.
Go in peace, my squirrels.
4 comments:
If only it really was that easy to make everyone happy. With squirrels, as you suggest.
Worth a punt, though.
They'll burn your house down Dick. It happened in Carshalton...
RattlingOn, so true. Life is about compromises and I've made one with the squirrels. I might lose out on the fun of the hunt, but I look forward to training them, possibly for paramilitary operations.
Nige, what's this about Carshalton? I did a search on Google for Carshalton squirrels and only found the famous albino squirrels.
http://tinyurl.com/mp8uc8
They don't look even slightly fire damaged.
Ah yes I remember the white squirrels of Beddington Park... It was a house in another park - the Grove Park, Carshalton - that was razed to the ground by a bushy-tailed arsonist - a suicide arsonist in fact, prepared to lay down his life for the cause by biting through a power cable. I tell you, they'll stop at nothing...
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