Open Orifice

I write out of sheer exhaustion and an unnerving desire to delay my bed. It is strange that when I'm at the peak of mental and physical exhaustion, I also find myself wanting to leave a mark on my blog.

As to that mark: it's merely to say that I'm still up here in the land where all vowels are nasal and the streets lined with trams. Another day in Manchester was spent learning the intricacies of 'Master Documents' within Open Office. It's hard to truly describe the insights this work provides other than to warn you to never unlink subdocuments from within another subdocument. Experience has taught me the perils of being so free and easy with the unlink button. My PC crashed for the fourth time in as many minutes today and a frown developed on my CreaseFree brow.

On a more positive note, I have been extremely rash in the face of my imminent pay cheque and squandered too much money on a new MP3 player with the intention of going the Bluetooth route with a pair of headphones. I spend most of my time between 6.40 and 8AM trying to untangle myself from the binding of my headphone cord as I try to extract train tickets from wallets. I dream of a future which is cord free. I also see myself scowling through the streets, my blue reefer jacket turned up around my ears as I listen to Serge Gainsbourg amid the delights of Manchester's Chinatown. The MP3 player is Korean. In addition to having a taste for dog, it also fits snugly into my pocket and is currently adorned with a nice full colour picture of Vanessa Feltz. The touch screen feels all the more touchy when there's three inches of cleevage on show. It also contains have a dozen episodes of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' which provide something of an antidote to Open Office, whose manuals are rather light on laughs.

And that, I think, is that. I don't know what's brought me to post this other than to apologise (again) for my silence and for my inability to reply to your comments, which continue to give me the only shred of consolation in these trying days. I occasionally manage to use my laptop in my daily tasks and your emails/comments pop up in the corner of the screen. I sneak a glance that way and I feel refreshed.

As for the College of Comedy: I've not been feeling at all funny and for the last week I've been suffering a terrible block. Tuesday I managed to write a few words which might develop into something on Friday when the week's labours are at an end. Not now, I'm now retiring to bed. I have to be up again in half an hour... Or it feels that way.