Tit Update

What a beautiful day! I opened the curtains on immaculate blue skies and a verdant plenty aka ‘the back garden’. I also saw plenty of tits frolicking around the bird bath, though, as you can see via the live webcam feed, none have gone near the box. It’s really disappointing given my big tit ambitions. The box is big enough for a pair of tits but I’d happy to look at just one. As Bill Oddie always tells me: a tit in the hand is worth two in the bush and there’s nothing you can’t tell Bill about tits. He’s the only man I’ve seen with a tit perched on each shoulder, though that was in a Soho nightclub after a couple of drinks…

Okay, Judy has just told me to stop making vulgar comments regarding tits, which I hadn’t noticed I was making until she pointed it out.

Other than the lack of tits, big or small, I have little to report. I have nothing planned for today. Later on, Judy will be getting her jugs out in order to practise for the Sussex Jug Band Competition and I plan on having a couple of pretty large baps for my lunch. I’ll then go up into the attic to tinker with the big chest we keep up there but haven’t opened it in a while. The lock is rusty so I might have to put some oil on its nipple...

Right, Judy says she won’t warn me again. I’ll leave this tit update here before anybody else criticises me. The last thing I need at the beginning of a new week is a pair of knockers…

Oh, that's torn it. Judy is reaching for her mutton mallet. I better post this and get out of here.

Later pardners…