In a bit of a rush today but I thought I’d mention the official ‘Richard Madeley Appreciation Society Mask Competition’. It’s the mask competition that everybody is talking about!
You might have noticed that with the help of ex-NASA scientists I’ve developed a mask to mark my spectacular return to the blogosphere. With this mask you too can pretend you have a Twitter account and write a blog. The mask was all Judy’s idea. One morning she turned to me and remarked ‘the world really couldn’t handle more than one of you’ and that put the idea in my head. The result is a full colour printer-friendly reproduction of my face but, depending on demand, I might yet release a second mask of the back of my head.
I’ll also be sending out prizes to anybody who can email me a photo of themselves wearing the mask in an interesting location. Please: no nude or swimwear photos unless you adhere to this website’s strict guidelines for adult-related material (you must be over 18, under 25, female, buxom yet lithe, preferably double jointed, and, if possible wearing rubber spats/stockings/earmuffs whilst in the nude or wearing swimwear).
The photographs will be used for my personal edification, though I reserve the right to use them in any way I see fit including (but not limited to) t-shirts, books, magazines, and blackmail.
UPDATE
I’m still in a rush today but I took time to check my inbox and, lo and behold, I discover that somebody has actually sent me a photo of themselves wearing my mask! There are only a few problems I have with the photo, given my strict rules about adult-rated material. So, "Mr. J.", whoever you are, I thank you for the effort but ask that you keep your mobile phone snaps to yourself in future.
2 comments:
Hey! You've photoshopped a vest and underpants onto it - not fair!
Very good, Mr. J. It's exactly as you sent it, though I was tempted by Judy's desperate pleading that I should blur your chest hair.
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