Monday, 8 September 2008

Five Pppphhhzzzzs in the Night

The new electrified fence kept me awake for most of the night. Every few minutes, the light of the clock radio would dim as another moth bridged the high voltage lines and found God where our herbaceous border meets Ronnie Corbett’s vegetable patch. Why Judy decided to go the high security route remains a mystery to me. Even as I’d watched Stephen and Sir Clive fit the high voltage capacitors to the tops of the fence yesterday afternoon, I couldn’t see the sense of it. And now, from my side of the bed, the new security arrangements still seem like overkill, with all the emphasis on the killing.

‘At this rate, there won’t be any moths left in this undisclosed part of North London,’ I said as I lay there counting the latest casualty.

‘But at least we’re safe from prowlers tonight,’ replied the voice at my side.

Pppphhhzzzz...

‘Eighty three,’ I said, wearily.

‘It’s funny that Stephen never mentioned moths.’

‘I shouldn’t imagine he would,’ I answered. ‘He’s in love with the technology. There’s no room for emotion when there are gadgets to review for The Guardian.’

‘But I would have liked to have known about moths. I would have thought he might have checked the effect of these fences on wildlife when he reviewed them for Dork Talk.’

Pppphhhzzzz...

‘Eighty four. Perhaps that’s why his review of electrified fences hasn’t yet hit the newsstand. Could you imagine what would happen if this fencing went mainstream?’

‘Still, it’s good to know that it’s protecting us from prowlers. Sir Clive said that he’s had it installed around his house. He swears by it.’

‘Probably in rhyme,’ I speculated. ‘Sir Clive sits behind his electrified fence, writing essays about Milton’s quintessence.’

Pppphhhzzzz...

‘Was that eighty five or six?’

‘Five,’ said Judy.

‘I’m beginning to lose count. One dead moth is becoming much like the last. I’m telling you, Jude, that there’s something we can learn from this fence. It teaches us about the fragility of life and the eternal play of being against eternity.’

Suddenly the bed made a squeak in the darkness and I felt Judy sit up.

‘Oh, Richard. I’ve just had a terrible thought. You don’t suppose the fence is a danger to Bill or his owls?’

I reached out and stroked her arm.

‘Such a gentle thing, you really are, Jude. Bill will be fine. He’s safe in his rubber boots. And the owls will be flying well above the fence.’

The bed squeaked again as Judy lay down.

‘Only, I wouldn’t want to think that Bill is out there being electrocuted.’

Pppphhhzzzz...

‘Well that’s either the eighty sixth moth or the eighty sixth time Bill’s carried voltage this evening.’

‘Oh, Richard, don’t joke.’

To pacify her, I swung my legs out of bed and went to the window. I opened the curtains a touch to see the fence.

‘No sign of Bill,’ I said.

‘Is Graham still out there?’

I looked across the street to where Graham Norton was sitting outside his house on a deckchair reading under a streetlight.

‘Still there and still keeping an eye out for prowlers.’

‘Such a strange man,’ said Judy. ‘It’s no wonder he hasn’t married.’

‘Pppphhhzzzz’ said the electric fence.

‘Eighty seven,’ said I as I climbed back into bed. I knew I was in for a very long night.

7 comments:

bertas said...

Ah Richard old chum its nice to see you back to the usual form :)

Dick Madeley said...

It's been a very difficult five weeks but I'm feeling a little brighter. Glad to see you back too. I'll have to post a picture of Fry just for you. ;o)

bertas said...

Oh I'm glad you are feeling brighter :)

How is the family doing? I do hope much better then few weeks ago.
As I said if you need anything give us a shout :)

Oh, jolly good a picture of Fry (I should really really stop fancying gay men, at my age I should know better :)... and specially for me tsss :) well thank you :)

Dick Madeley said...

Thanks for asking, Betas. Things are going slowly but we're further along. He has another operation three days ago and we hope it's the last. He's still not talking (or the words are garbled) but he is aware and looking around the room. We think he possibly recognises people too. We're told that this is all normal after an aneurism and it can take months for any sense of normality to return. The brain apparently rewires itself. All we can do is wait.

Barbara said...

That's what Graham needs to keep him busy at night, a girlfriend! Maybe Judy could set him up with someone. He would love it!
Probably keep him away from your house anyway.



My grandfather had a stroke years ago and was incapacitated. My grandma taught him how to write again and he had therapy to learn to walk and talk, all that fun stuff. It took some time but he eventually was pretty much back to normal, driving and everything. The brain really is a resilient organ.

uhfdf said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

fgeegf said...

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,