Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Cutting the Lawn

Just in from cutting the lawn, I’m struck by how completely pointless it all was. Judy’s knee meant that there was no way she could drag the old mower around our patch of demi-paradise so it fell to Yours Truly to get down there and take up the yoke. I should never have left it so long. The grass was so deep it was almost achieving sentience. If I’d given it much longer it would have been marching down the road and claiming state benefits. It’s all now on the compost but no doubt the stuff has started to grow and reassert itself on the garden. I have a mind to let it grow into one of those natural gardens which BBC2 types go on about all the time; all untrimmed bushes and creeping weeds with the occasional frog or rat doing a jig across the patio. I can feel Judy glaring at me, even as I typed that sentence.

The worst part was trimming the edge, which defied all logic. For two or three days, we can live with the satisfaction that our grass is growing according to some arbitrary straight line. An hour it took me to go around the bloody thing straight, snipping it away with the trimmer. And what this means is that I’m too exhausted to write. However, judging from recent comments, perhaps that’s no great loss.

11 comments:

Welsh Girl said...

I have yet to tackle the wildlife haven that is my lawn. I think that Bill Oddie might be hiding in it so don't dare go at it with the strimmer in case I cause a national institution a horrible strimming injury.

You sound a little down. I can't believe a great British Institution such as yourself can be demoralised by a colonial!!!! I suggest a tea of scones, jam and clotted cream on the newly shorn lawn to regain a sense of suitable superiority!!!!

Dick Madeley said...

Down? I probably am. Life worries and Manchester tomorrow, along with career worries, writing worries, writing worries, writing worries, hunt for publisher/agent... You know. The usual. The colonial aspect of this isn't even a factor.

I'm happy that you've left your lawn long. I felt bad cutting it, though it does now shine with its long uneven lines where I danced around Judy's garden gnomes.

Welsh Girl said...

Strangely I just wrote my blog on this very thing - the great depression smothering us all. It seems that the cosmos is plotting against us this month and everybody is struggling with life.....

I shall be optimistic about it though and assume that it is darkest before the dawn etc etc and a large lottery win for me and a huge publishing deal for you are just around the proverbial corner.....

Selena Dreamy said...

"If I’d given it much longer it would have been marching down the road and claiming state benefits..."

...or, worse still, starting to watch EastEnders!

Barbara said...

Silly man, don't you know that's why you have kids?

Richard Havers said...

This is not you pitching for Monty the Don's former slot is it?

Lloyd Mintern said...

Maybe you and Elberry should team up and write porno.

Nige said...

That's good to hear, Welsh Girl - it's not just Dick and me (and a few others I know, come to think) -this has got to be one of the most depressing Augusts ever. I reckon/ devoutly hope the weather'll lift come September and we'll have one of those glorious Indian summers and our spirits will bounce right back like so many squashed springs and we'll be sitting around feeling life is good. Cheers!

Welsh Girl said...

Nige, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we all get to be Zebedee come September. At least the sun is shining in Wales today, and Dick has inspired me to mow my lawn (Only took an hour and a half and needs doing again already darn it!). Must get an undergardener asap..........

Lola said...

Hello everyone, just wanted to point out that I'm having a crap time too, it's not just you. So there. Should get a bit better at the weekend tho.

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