Thursday, 3 April 2008

Richard Madeley's LuckWatch

It’s one of the unmentioned disadvantages of being a man that we can occasionally wound ourselves. I speak, of course, of striking oneself in an area that’s best left unstruck. How I managed to do this to myself, I’m really not sure but the feeling of sickness is only just passing. I was simply walking down the stairs and my right hand was swinging a little too freely at my side. It collided with the banister and rebounded into my crotch.

I’m only passing on this news in order to assure you that, as of 15:46, my luck has still not changed.


Selena Dreamy said...

It collided with the banister and rebounding into my crotch.

...looks like Judy is out of luck too?!

(temporarily only, one would hope)


Uncle Dick Madeley said...

Selena, she's spent the day in the garden. It's not bothered her at all. I just feel a bit sad that things have got so bad that I'm now writing blog posts about accidentally punching myself in my nuts. For this, I really apologise.

By the way, Selena, I'm afraid that I hold you as responsible for my black eye as the mine. If I hadn't followed your advice regarding books, I wouldn't have gone to Waterstones, wouldn't have passed the mime, and wouldn't have fallen over. I hope you'll make amends by violently attacking the next mime you see.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't everyone violently attack mimes whenever they see them?

Sorry about the nuts, maybe if Judy massaged them they would feel better. ;)

Selena Dreamy said...

...punching myself in my nuts.

Still, once you accept it's downhill, Richard, there's much less disappointment


James Higham said...

A bang to the nuts is an excruciating thing, as any malicious female knows.

Lola said...

I sympathise with your rough luck in our cruel cruel world at the moment - I write for fun, and it must be very different when you yearn for that publishing deal. I hope your fortune changes soon.

And TRY to keep away from banisters, your own fist, mimes, clowns, beavers and Fred Talbot. The last two haven't damaged you yet, but I have a premonition...

I'm glad to hear that Elberry is providing such fine support. What a gem you have there. I, however, provide mere candyfloss when you need a substantial meal. But sometimes candyfloss is nice, no?

lee said...

OUCH! This reminds me of a time as a kid when we were at a concert and had to sit on the floor cross-legged and I accidentally sat down right on the very edge of my sandal somehow and it KILLED. The thought still brings a tear to the eye.

Uncle Dick Madeley said...

Well, I didn't think my nuts would become such a talking point but thank you all for your kind words.

Okbye, I can assure you that after a knock like that, the last thing they needed was a massage.

Semaj Mahgih, I was about to welcome you to my blog but then I realised that our favourite Higham has undergone another transformation like a Time Lord. As usual, you are on the money. Just like my punch.

Lola, I love candyfloss but I rarely get a chance to taste it. We are lacking fairgrounds in this country. Something needs to be done.

Lee, I'm sure it hurt but this is a man thing and it's worse than sandals. It is not an 'ordinary' pain, you see. It's pain and nausea and just a touch of psychological damage.