Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Pah!

Life keeps hammering me. If I were a nail, I’d be worn smooth with thin filigree edges around my head.

The flu lasted twelve days before I began to feel like writing. In the meantime, I've had to take a week off work. It cut my monthly income by a quarter. Helpfully, the bank then hit me with one of their illegal charges and I received a demand to pay more tax to Mr. Brown.

Earning a living must be easier than I make it appear. The life of the uber-celebrity is far less glamorous than you'd expect.

Spending a living is so easy that even a fool can do it. However, this fool is still prevaricating about applying for a course in creative writing. I know it’s an indulgence. Where will I get the money? Channel 4 don't fund their stars through Higher Education. I should simply sit down and write a new book.

Today, I sat down and tried to write. I wrote 1000 words but tomorrow I’ll write none. I’ve spent an hour, tonight, standing in the rain. I was waiting for an ambulance to arrive and take a close relative into hospital. These things keep happening to me.

Some people say that life is worth all the struggle, just so long as we're standing near Bill Oddie.

I'm beginning to doubt it.

13 comments:

bertas said...

Richard old chum, I do hope things will pick up for you... if you need anything you have my e-mail :)

m-alice said...

everything will be ok
soon or later

Lola said...

They Will Appreciate You One Day. Your Time Will Come.

We noble and selfless followers of the divine RM will ensure that your reward will arrive, wrapped in cellophane and yellow ribbon with a pretty bow on the top. This is our pledge to you. Actually, it's mine at the moment, but some of your other regulars could send a donation...

Hope your relative is OK.

Richard Madeley said...

Bertas, I'm on my way round. All I require is a warm corner and peace and quiet...

M-Alice, I hope so. I really hope so.

Lola, thanks too. Yes, donations would be great. Used bank notes of a large denomination. My relative is pretty rough but the doctors have found the problem. I'm on my way to the hospital now...

The Twitch said...

Get well soon

elberry said...

i have an idea. Not a cunning idea but no bad idea either. As long as i have the job i presently hold (which, being in the NHS, is pretty secure), i'd happily give you £50 a month so you can get on with your writing; whether that 50 would go to a MA's course fees or whether you'd opt to just live at home and write all day as a private citizen, would be your choice.

£50 i could guarantee as long as i have this job, which looks set to last for the foreseeable future. Now, it seems to me that i could easily afford this, and others of your readers could afford similar amounts. If we could rustle up the 3 grand or so you'd need for course fees, methinks you could become our pet writer.

This sounds philanthropic but it's just that i miss your regular updates and hate the idea of you doing an office job, even one a bit more sophisticated than mine!

Anyway, my £50/month is laid down on the table. Anyone else? Twenty other readers a month would mean RM could afford the course fees within 3 months...

...i don't know how many readers you actually have, but i think i have about 2o regulars a day, so let's say you have at least that. What's £50/month? - just over a tenner a week, that's nothing.

i would be ashamed not to offer NHS money to help a good writer out and i hope others feel the same way. You may not all have as much to spare as me, but if there are more than 20 of you, it could be much less than £50 a month.

To quote Excalibur, "any man who would be a knight, and follow a king - follow me!" We could be the Knights of Madeley!

Swearing Mother said...

Why not sell sexual favours in order to fund your creative writing course? This would have two distinct benefits, a) you would surely raise thousands of pounds without much trouble, and b) the experiences you would gain would stand you in good stead on the creative writing front.

Just a thought. If you decide to go ahead Richard, put me down for a fiver's worth.

Richard Madeley said...

I have to be quick. My laptop battery is down to 6%. I've spent the day at the hospital visiting my sister (a not too pleasant experience) and I'm exhausted.

Elberry, I've said it before and I'll say it again: you are a saint. Naturally, I could never accept such a kind offer but the very fact you make it, is enough to keep me sane in a mad world. So long as I have people like you believing in me, I'll keep on writing. You really do make me believe in the essential goodness of people.

SM, I couldn't live off the money I'd get for sexual favours.

Anonymous said...

I would gladly join Richards knights of the round table as long as i can have the title Sir Twitchalot.

Richard Madeley said...

Sir Twitchalot, if I did form a round table, you would be one of the first I'd ask.

Sir Twitchalot said...

Thanks Dick, I am uplifted & honoured by your kindness towards me. You are a true gentleman.I hope your sister recovers her health soon.

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