Thursday, 2 May 2013

Want Google Glass? You Bet Your Ass!

I just wanted to add my upbeat warble to the chorus of excited chins wagging about the next big innovation from Google called ‘Google Glass’. I had a chance to demo an early version of this fine technology (see picture, right) and, even if I haven’t heard anything from them about the Google Nexus 10 I’m eager to demo, I believe Google Glass will revolutionise the way we look at the world.

If you don’t know how it works, Google Glass resemble a pair of lens-free glasses which respond to simple touch commands along the side stem and project the results onto a small screen raised and to the side of your vision. The screen can display different things such as the date and time, which is great if, like me, you’re too busy to raise you left hand and look at your watch. Instead, you simply raise your right hand, swipe your glasses with an upward motion to access the main menu, swipe it to the side three times until you get to time, and then double tap your glasses to access the clock functionality. Then you read the time from the screen. It’s really that quick and easy.

Yet that’s not all that Google Glass can do for you. It can display photos, access your Facebook account, and, perhaps most amazing of all, give you directions if you've managed to get lost because you weren't looking where you were going whilst you were wandering the streets accessing your Facebook account. That's a great time saver and stops you having to log onto Facebook and tell your friends: 'Help! I'm lost in Stoke Golding (it's near Nuneaton).' That's minutes saved every day of your life and they do add up!

My favourite feature is the ability to take photographs with the simple act of winking. Unfortunately, this did prove a bit problematic when I trialed the glasses since I am one of the few men with a rare congenital condition that makes me wink whenever I pass water. This did cause my glasses to overload the Google servers with pictures of urinals, trees, bushes, lampposts, brick walls, stone walls, rocks, the sea, bins, the back wheel of my Jag, the left leg of Jeremy Kyle… What can I say? I drink a lot of coffee…

Yet perhaps the most exciting part of Google Glass are the plans for the future. There will be a chance for people to document their entire lives via live webstreams, which means fantastic opportunities for those of us who would like to document our entire lives up here on the web. I’m hoping to get a live camera stream on this blog going as soon as my Google Glass arrives. I want people to get real-time access to every exciting thing that’s going on in my life, whether that’s my walks to the post office, production meetings, Judy’s darts nights at the local village pub, or my reviewing the papers on BBC News 24, which is the best gig in town and earns me £50 a pop, just for scratching my chin over the day's papers. And, what's more, I get to keep the papers!

Exciting times ahead? You bet!


Go chauffeur said...

Nice Article thank you

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Felicity Grope said...

Thank you, Richard, for promoting my book yesterday. Every little helps. And I always enjoy watching you do the newspapers on the BBC. You're like the thinking girl's Jeremy Vine.

Uncle Dick Madeley said...

No, thank you, Felicity. Your book both aroused and amused me. Judy was particularly interested in your expert handling of the sex scenes since her next book will contain no fewer than three dozen and she's already running out of variations to keep them interesting.

Uncle Dick Madeley said...

Oy, Go Chauffeur! Thanks for the kind words but you're just here for the backlinks aren't you? I'm publishing your comment because you took the time to fill in the anti-SPAM code. At least you're persistent. I'll give you that, even if your backlinks don't work.

Anyway, what price can you do me for the hire of a chauffeur and luxury Merc? I need to be driven to Oundle near Corby next week and I need somebody who wouldn't mind helping me lift some heavy bags of ready mix.

Lola said...

So you're back, are you? With your relentless generosity to authors and tireless work on behalf of the Android family of tablet computers, as well as encouraging backlinks, whatever they are. Cufflinks for the piercing generation, I don't doubt.

Well, it's nice to see you, but I don't expect any reciprocal comment action on my current blog, which is all too serious and intellectual at the moment. Not that anyone reads it any more, except for my family and a handful of loyal friends.

Keep up the good work, I'm sure you're doing much for charitable organisations now that those filthy slurs have been aimed at Fred Talbot. It'll be Bill Oddie next, and he was a Goodie. My faith in childhood heroes has been quite destroyed.

I don't half ramble nowadays. It's the strain of having a real job after so long in studenty idleness.