Reaching Out

One of the most interesting things about writing a blog is to see how many people read me around the globe. I see regular visitors from the BBC, UK newspapers, the American government, and even from my own home (I suspect that Judy logs on to see what I’m saying about her). It often leads me to wonder what interesting lives other people live. How did they get to where they are? Do they find Stephen Fry’s cape appealing? And do they understand what Bill Oddie and Nige get up to with owls?

Yet as many of you know, I also live in constant fear of litigation. Being a man of forthright opinions and a certain ebullient willingness to speak my mind when the moment is right (and, let’s face it, I yet to find a moment that isn’t right), I’m might occasionally say something that might be construed, in a certain light, by people of a certain limited viewpoint, as being somehow ‘wrong’. I know. Hard to believe, isn’t it? Yet causally glancing through my dwindling readership statistics, I often notice that members of various legal establishments are taking a great deal of interest in my blog. Today I'm living in fear of a complaint by the UK Society of Bearded Gentlemen, who might have taken unkindly to my depiction, yesterday, of all men with beards as megalomaniacs and war criminals.

Paranoia and I are old friends and I might just be misreading the signs. So, if you are currently working for a law firm and happen to be browsing my blog for nothing more innocent than a few harmless insights into the world of celebrity, please drop me a line to say that I’m in the clear with the UK Society of Bearded Gentlemen. Otherwise, I will take your silence to mean that the battle lines are being drawn and that Charles Darwin, David Bellamy, and Rolf Harris will be the leading witnesses for the prosecution.