How Big is Vanessa Feltz's Cleavage?

For the person in London currently searching Google for 'How big is Vanessa Feltz's cleavage', I can end your quest right here.

It's big. Bigger than even your 1280x1024 desktop resolution could handle. I mean it's really, really big.

I wish you well and hope I answered your question. I now feel that my afternoon, spent fruitlessly looking for a post-Channel 4 job, has not been totally wasted.

Concerning Cleavage

Both Judy and myself have been disturbed by a sudden rise in traffic coming from Google. Over the last 24 hours, people have developed an unhealthy interest in looking up ‘Judy’s cleavage’. Or should that be 'looking down Judy’s cleavage'? Whatever it is, can I ask you to stop it, guys?

There is one person, who we’ve tracked to Birmingham, who spent two hours searching and clearly not able to find anything on my dear wife, widened his search to ‘Richard & Judy’s cleavage’. I’m happy to put his mind at rest. Not only have I never posed for any pictures with my cleavage exposed but I have no cleavage. There is no possible way for me to produce cleave even if the need arose.

If this is a sign of what web notoriety brings a man, I can well see that I'm better off without it.