Wednesday 25 June 2008

Judith's Pride

I’ve been puzzled for the last few days why searches for ‘Judith Chalmers’ have gone through the roof. Barely a minute passes by without somebody coming here for the latest lowdown on Judith. Today, I discovered the reason: she’s not been wearing any knickers for the last half a century.


According to The Daily Telegraph:
‘Judith Chalmers has admitted she never wore knickers in more than 30 years travelling the world for Wish You Were Here? The 72-year-old presenter said she always "went commando" because she did not want the outline of her knickers to be visible on TV.’

‘Outline of her knickers’ my foot! I’ve heard that excuse so often it’s got more than whiskers on it: it’s got a full-on handlebar moustache which it strokes while walking down the promenade, greeting all the ladies with a ‘Good day, my dear!’

Why can’t people be honest about their underwear or lack thereof? You know that I love Judith dearly and her ability to see the future has helped me get through some difficult times. However, she should just admit that she likes to feel the breeze down there. I know I do. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. On a hot summer’s day, other men struggle with heat and the sweaty tangle of twisted underwear. I, on the other hand, feel quite chilled. In a nice baggy pair of trousers, I can generate enough ventilation around my gusset that a faint aurora of frost surrounds me at all times.

3 comments:

Selena Dreamy said...

You can’t beat the mystery of a nice baggy pair of trousers.

Uncle Dick Madeley said...

Selena, I always think of you as the window through which true wisdom reveals itself but I think this might be the wisest thing you've ever said.

There could be many books written about that one line. Many books.

Richard Havers said...

David?